Make a Difference Essay

What Facing History and Ourselves Meant to Me

Where do I even begin? What started with a choice that was determined by the flip of a coin has led me down a path I now feel without which, I could not have fully lived my life. Facing History has made such an impact on me, I feel as though I would not have been able to develop fully as a person if I did not take this course. As I sit here and try to think of how to explain this, words are hard to come by. As a student, I was taught how to be more respectful and how to interact with others in an environment where there was no judgment neither passed nor received. As a person, this course taught me how not speaking up can be devastating, how one person can make a difference, and how I need to stand up for others when no one else will. In order to express myself and my thoughts more clearly, I would like to share some personal experiences I had in this class.

About halfway through this course, Mr. Gallagher had warned us that the emotional toll that would be taken out was only going to get worse. When he said this, everything we had seen up to this point was entirely bearable. I had no idea what was in store for me over the next 8 weeks. It is for this reason that all of the personal experiences I will share are from the last stretch of the course.

Shortly before winter vacation, we watched a film called Amen!, a story about a Waffen-SS officer named Kurt Gerstein who witnessed the atrocities of the Nazi party and did everything in his ability to stop what was going on. He went all the way from the Pope to superior American officers after his capture, trying to explain what was and had been going on. Shortly after his surrender to American troops, he was found hanging by the neck in his jail cell. What made this film different was that it did not show much of the war crimes the Nazis perpetrated, it showed the lack of action taken by those who would had much power and would have had great influence on the matter. While watching this film, I cringed every time the Pope was implored by priests or even this officer himself to take action, yet failed to do so. These were people who were the most respected figures in the world, let alone the church, failing to take action. The men, who above all else are entrusted to care for the least and smallest of the people in the world, did nothing. Being Roman Catholic, this was extremely difficult for me to see. I simply couldn’t fathom something like this happening, yet it did.

After watching Amen! we watched a extremely powerful film called The Grey Zone. This film was based on the true story of Dr. Miklos Nyiszli, a Jewish doctor who was forced to perform medical experiments on other imprisoned Jews for fear of his own life. What made this movie different from Amen! was the fact that this movie focused much more greatly on the atrocities committed by the Nazis as compared to what was done about them. This film was difficult to watch because of how accurate the portrayals of real life horrors were. I don’t think I will ever forget the sounds of the woman screaming after her husband was beaten to death in front of her very eyes as everyone else just looked on. I cannot imagine what that would be like, to see someone you loved so dearly being killed in front of you while everyone else looked on, not moving. How could no one stand up and say something or do something? Was no one moved enough to do anything? Was this man’s life valued so little that no one would even speak up? That scene was particularly hard to watch. Another scene I found emotionally moving was the scene where an elderly man had to personally cremate his entire family. The detail they went into, describing how first it was his daughter, then his grandson, then finally his wife, being personally pushed into the ovens by his own hand. That man’s face, even if it was a portrayal, is something that I think will never leave me.

Finally, the last film we watched was probably the thing that will, if nothing else will, stick with me for the remainder of my life. This film was actual, real time footage, shot by American camera crews after the liberation of the concentration camps. What made this film different from all the others was the level of shock value that came from its authenticity. When watching a produced film, one must always remember that what is being seen is not real, it’s being produced in some way, and no people were actually harmed in the making of it. In the last film we saw though, it was all 100% real. The men who were living skeletons had been under Nazi rule not more than days before. The tears shed were not put on for the camera. They were shed because these people knew that the greatest horror they could ever imagine was finally over. The piles of dead bodies were not computer generated. They were the bodies of men and women who had been alive not more than days before, yet had their lives taken from them. The frames with bodies having entire parts of their head missing, or of people with no more toes due to infection, or of the bodies as limp as dolls being picked up and put down like pieces of luggage were all real. I pictured myself being on the other side of the camera. In real life, in color, looking, seeing, smelling, and hearing everything that was going on, knowing that what was happening was real. That’s what made this film have the most profound impact on me, knowing that everything that was being shown on that screen was not made up; it was entirely and utterly real. This film showed me the true horrors of what can happen when no one stands up, how things can get out of control so easily and how terrifying, disgusting, and horrific the outcome can be.

As this course ends and I look back at what I have learned, I cannot understand why I did what I did. How could I have been so insensitive? During situations when others were being hurt or put down and no one said anything, why did I not stand up? How could I allow myself to be a bystander? This course has forced me to look at myself as anyone else would and see myself as who I am, not who I want to see myself as. This course has changed the way I look at life and the way I look at others as well as the way I look at myself. I find that I now check my words and reevaluate myself constantly. I look at situations differently and I try to be fair and just in everything I do. I have made a promise with myself that I will never be a bystander. I will never pass by an opportunity to do what is right and I will never let myself be brought low enough so that others may say "You are just as bad as they are."